Hard times, I know. So that's why I've been collecting vouchers to save squillions on stuff. You know, loyalty card rewards and those printed on all the new baby information leaflets that have flopped through the letter box kindly offering me advice since boy Three was born.
See there's a big stack here on my desk ready to take to the shops.
I could probably save enough on nappies, groceries and mascara to afford a holiday somewhere hot and exotic if that kind of logic ever worked.
Only, the problem is, I never, ever, remember to take them with me and hand them over.
I tried not taking them out of my purse and so it bulged and leaked and once or twice, triumphant, offered them at the checkout.
"Sorry they ran out last month, you can't use them," as they were tossed into the bin in one smooth movement. Not even worth all the pound coins that had tumbled from my unclosable purse.
Then it occurred to me that I'm not alone.
You see, I've spent quite a lot of time in shops one way or another and I don't remember ever seeing others in retail therapy spending their vouchers either.
Does anyone ever actually cash them in? Is there a voucher economy: a flow of discounts? Or is it just some cynical conspiracy among purse and wallet fastener manufacturers? I'd vouch that it was.