Things I've learned from my children today.
Medieval weapons beat modern labour-saving devices every time. Boys One and Two are on a bit of an inventing thing at the moment. Boy Two asked what I'd like him to invent for me. So I started a bit of a monologue about my domestic fantasies (No, not those ones!). They included a magic self cleaning floor, junk picking up pixies, skid-mark eating robots and a laundry production line. Then Boy Two cut across my reverie: "Right then. What will I need to make a Medieval catapult for you."
An inconsistent approach to fire safety is fine, then. Boy One is very keen that we follow the fire safety officer's advice to the letter. There has been much nagging on the subject of shutting doors at night and unplugging things. It's obviously worked because I turn my computer off and unplug it at bedtime now. However, it was campfire night at Cubs yesterday and a very malodourous affair it was too. But Boy One had a ball. "Little friend K set fire to a sauage and ate it while it was burning. And I burned a marshmallow. It was awesome."
"Isn't that a little dangerous?"
"No. Just awesome."
Keys are the key. The best and most entertaining thing that Boy Three can get his hands on are the keys. Real ones, mind. He has rumbled that the big bunch with the mysterious keys on are dummies and only gives them a quick chew. This must stop though. Last night he grabbed my bunch and wouldn't give them back for me to unlock the house door. There followed a very unseemly struggle between a grown woman and a squealing 11 month old to get them back.