Saturday, 18 September 2010

More blushes from the archives of shame...


I'm sitting here blushing. Yes, actually. With a proper red face. I think I've got away with it because my colleagues will probably think it's a hot flush.

The reason is a post I wrote this week for Ready for Ten about the funny things parents do - me particularly. I talked about the time I inadvertently gave Boy One's class mates a sex education lesson and the time I completely got his teacher's identity wrong.

What I had in mind was a revelatory post about other embarrassing things. I had the fanciful notion that it would give you a laugh, maybe encourage a bit of bean-spilling and might be an all-round hoot.

Then I started to think about what I'd put in to the post.

First I thought about the time I'd ended up doing the walk of shame along a marina pontoon in the Caribbean whilst my limbs and face were painted a fetching shade of emerald green - it was the morning of March 18.

Then there was the time I vomited off the back of a yacht in the middle of a crowded marina surrounded by boats all full of crew getting ready for a yacht race. Seasickness wasn't to blame.

Or perhaps the - oh, this one's hard - time when I was sat on a lavatory, again on a boat, thinking I had the chance for an *ahem* quiet moment's contemplation. Only I hadn't banked on the rest of the crew suddenly wanting to do a sail change and the cludgee upon which I sat was also in what passed for a sail locker. Don't let anyone tell you yacht racing is glamorous - being caught mid-poo while six or seven crewmates change a sail around you isn't nice.

How about the evening in Las Palmas when I was the butt of a Spanish joke? The bar staff refused to understand that I wanted costillas until, in my frustration, I had pointed at my own... handily positioned under my bosom. Grrr.

Maybe the day I was so heavily pregnant I just couldn't get into my car and had to phone my non-pregnant and skinny friend to reverse my car out of its perfectly normal parking space?

So you see there was just too much to choose from, so I decided not to bother.

Is it me, or is it hot in here?

9 comments:

  1. The thought of being on a boat makes me want to vomit

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  2. This time it had much more to do with the amount of G&T I had consumed in the bar nearest to the boat!

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  3. I think the lesson to be learnt here is that you should avoid boats :-)

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  4. Boats were fun. Sigh. Nowadays the only boats I get near are plastic ones in the baby's bath.

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  5. Seems like most of your embarrassing moments happen on a yacht - fortunately I don't do sailing but I did once accidently put someone else's knickers on at the swimming baths!

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  6. Hee hee. Great stories. Does it feel good to have shared?

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  7. TNMA,I'd love to hear how that came about.

    PhotoPuddle, I'm still blushing.

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  8. I got stuck between cars too-- but I had already had the baby!

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  9. Amodernmother, I've learned my lesson now - big, parking spaces. I now believe that's what parent and child spaces are really for!

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