Monday, 4 October 2010

The pizza-flavoured post in which everyone wins

Pizza Hut

Kids Eat Free

Once upon a time there was a family and they were very sad. It was summer and all their money was spent on going on holiday to Turkey and to London.

Boy One was sad because he couldn't get to eat his favourite food - pizza - all the time. His mother was too damn lazy to cook different things for everyone.

Boy Two was sad because he hated pizza and didn't much like being at home all of the holidays either.

Boy Three was sad because his brothers wouldn't let him play their games and being the smallest he never got to watch Zingzillas, his favourite telly show.

The Panther of News was sad because it was the off season or something. He was also sad because Boys One, Two and Three were making annoying noises. And he was worried. He knew that if he waited too long his wife would find something for him to do and this would certainly make him sad.

Then the wise and gracious wife and mother of this family said: "Aha! I have an idea. Let's find something to do that doesn't cost anything and makes us all stop being sad."

So the family got into their magic carpet (Skoda) and drove to the nearby city of where they frolicked in the parks and stood in amazement looking at the interesting and sometimes downright bizarre things on show at Glasgow's Kelvingrove Art Gallery and Museum.

Boy Two loved the Elvis statue and the boobies on the harpie, Boy One loved the skeleton and the Egyptian stuff and Boy Three just loved everything because it was shiny and he could run around. Or at least until he fell asleep and dribbled on his t-shirt.

So the family were happy... for a while. "I'm hungry," said Boy Two. And all of a sudden they were sad again.

Just then the wise and gracious wife and mother said: "Stop moaning you ungrateful brats I've got better things to do then come here with you."

Er, hang on. She didn't say that at all. Here's what she said: "Aha, I have an idea. Let's find something good to eat that doesn't cost anything and makes us all stop being sad."

And with that she whisked out of the museum leaving nothing but the faint smell of jelly beans and some astonished looking children.

The family found her at the nearest Pizza Hut.

Boy One was happy. He loves pizza.

Boy Two was sad until his mother pointed to the chicken nuggety things on the menu and the miraculous ice cream dispenser in the corner.

Boy Three was sad until he realised that he just had to put up with being strapped into a highchair. And then he saw the seemingly endless supply of pizza to eat and breadsticks to put up his nose and he was happy.

The Panther of News was sad. He said: "I thought you said we were skint?"

And his wise and gracious wife replied: "I did, but look. Pizza Hut has a Kids Eat Free offer. Look - we can feed our darling sons for... nothing. Because they're worth it."

But if this makes you sad because the summer is now gone, take heart. Pizza Hut have extended their Kids Go Free offer until Jan 9, 2011.

And they all lived happily ever after... at least until it was raining and the football was on the telly again.

Details: For every adult main course or adult lunchtime buffet purchased, an accompanying child can choose from either a FREE 2 course kids meal (includes a drink) or a FREE kids lunchtime buffet (includes pizza, pasta and salad).

Find more details about the offer at Pizza Hut.


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  1. You do make me laugh, Oh wise and gracious one. It's trying to please all the people all the time that really gets you down!! You seem to be doing a pretty good job of it! Mxx


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