Monday, 22 November 2010

Blog your blues away


OK - here's an idea I've been brewing for a while. I think you can blog yourself happy, post yourself into positivity and type away the tears.

There. I said it. No, no, come back. I haven't been overcome by the smell of Febreze and the soundtrack of YogaZone on the telly.

That rustling isn't long purple robes, although now you come to mention it, they would be very fetching and, um, forgiving.

Anyhow, come and sit down on these beanbags and I'll tell you all about my theory.

If you write about the good things in life - even if you have to think really, really hard to find some - it'll make you feel better. Truly it works.

Equally, if your blog is a catalogue of misery and disaster (sometimes, I know, a little splash of rain is unavoidable) then it'll start to pull you down. Even if it is pant-wettingly funny misery and disaster.

You know what happens, you get a laugh, comments and empathy from blogging about how rubbish your husband is - the one you promised yourself to above all others. The same thing happens when you, oooh, say that your children are brats with snotty noses. So you start looking for the funny things to bung in your blog for more of the same. You begin to concentrate on losing your temper, on the time your house was a big old mess, on being late, hassled and upset. As it happens you focus on the emotion, the tears, the screaming - oooh colourful adjectives fill your head and you dash to your computer to blog. "This one'll be dynamite," you mutter.

Ping you push the 'publish post' button and, before you know, it your cyber chums are LOLing and liking and commenting. They love it. You see, while they're probably lovely people they quite enjoy the fact that your catastrophic life is more out of control and malodorous than theirs.

What happens when you turn it round? Start to look for the fun, the unexpected gifts and the things to be grateful for. Almost every experience can teach you something, and that has to be worth having?

A year or so ago it's fair to say I was in something of a funk. I was so busy trying to de-funk myself that I started fretting about the fact I wasn't paying my children enough attention and that led to further funkery. I started blogging about them - just one positive thing about each of them every day, it would only take a minute.

And guess what? It worked. I started watching them for charming, clever and heartwarming little gems I could blog about. And soon I was so busy watching the children that I didn't even notice that the funk had all but funked off.

20 comments:

  1. Oooh what a brilliant post, so very true :-)

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  2. Love the pay-off line in particular. And the latest pic of boy three who, even in 2d, is enough to bring a smile to anyone's face.
    xxx

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  3. I'm sure I've said to you before that I am so sorry for the reasons you started blogging, but SO glad that you did.

    In terms of the therapy, it doesn't even have to be a full blog. My friend was having a very similar time to you, and was feeling dreadful. I told her about bundance and she started to write down one good thing about her day in a notebook, and like you she said it worked really well. Like you say, being aware of how you can take control of your own surroundings makes a massive difference I think.

    On phone and in bed sick, so poss this won't be the most coherent reply, but I hope you get the gist.

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  4. In a 'what you put out there is what you get back' way, I totally agree with you:) Jen

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  5. This is SO true! I've always been one to try to focus on the silver linings of any situation I'm in. I'm sure it's helped me get through some pretty bad times.
    Don't get me wrong, life's not perfect, there's no such thing, but life is definitely good right now, despite Max having only *just* stopped crying at about 10pm, as is his usual! ;)

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  6. Hm. Ime, it's the miserable posts that get the feedback, and very often if you post cheerful happy stuff, no one comments :(

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  7. WW, thank you.

    Debbie, he is cute - if fairly damp.

    Jo, I hope you're feeling better. Glad writing helped your friend too.

    Jen, it's true.

    Marylin, At least he stopped!

    Liveotherwise, that's sad. Maybe persistance will pay off.

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  8. I totally agree with you. I've been in a bit of a funk myself lately and as a result haven't blogged much, not wanting to inflict my grumpiness on others. Tonight I have got it off my chest, so tomorrow will be all about looking for the positive blog, thanks to you.

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  9. I absolutely agree.

    That is why I try to make my blog funny, because by forcing myself to look at the humour of the situations I find myself it it does make me feel a bit better about things. That isn't to say there aren't times when I get downright miserable, on my blog as well as in real life, but at least now when the shit hits the fan my second thought (after 'bugger') is 'blog fodder, brilliant'.

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  10. MummyUnlimited, I'm pleased you can see the end of your funk too.

    WFI, I love your blog and I think it's the only way to do it.

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  11. No it's true! You can! I try to do it a lot. Positivity breeds positivity!! :) Great post!

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  12. I agree in part - in tough times a few years back it was my blog buddies that got me through.

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  13. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  14. Nicola,
    Thanks for your comment. I tried to find a profile for you, but you didn't leave one or I would have responded directly.

    I am removing your comment, because it isn't relevent to this post and, therefore, will confuse anyone reading it.

    If you want to get directly in touch (ellenarnison at hotmail.com) or leave some contact details, I'd be happy to deal with your points.

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  15. Hi,

    Like it - I think the same is true of morning chats with the Mum's at playgroup - if you arrive believing your child is having a charming and entertaining day they seem to measure up (obviously the opposite also is true).

    Caroline x

    P.S. Thanks for following my blog!

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  16. Found this post via Helloitsgemma's blog and I love the sentiment of it. I'm not so much glass half full as who stole my **** glass so you're an inspiration to me lol.

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  17. Mummy@Bod for tea, I love your comment - made me laugh. Thanks.

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  18. Hi Ellen, this is so true. What you focus on expands and all that.
    Have you read much positive psychology stuff, because there is lots of scientific research that's been done recently on gratitude and how it really makes people happier. I'd be happy to share what I know with you (if you haven't discovered it all for yourself already.) Thea

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  19. Hi Thea, Thanks. It would be good to see that.
    Ellen

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