Wednesday, 9 March 2011

Let's get off the crap-go-round

The school bring-and-buy sale was one of the casualties of last year's heavy snow. Its disappearance was mourned by the kids for a minute or two before they went off sledging and celebrated by me and probably all the other parents.

I thought it had gone away. I relaxed and started to believe it wasn't going to happen. Oh dear.

Just when I'd finished handing over cash for fair trade week, (I give the kids money the tasty stuff they buy gets eaten by them and the rest of it gets moved around until I tidy it up, what's fair about that?) the bring-and-buy shows up with the inevitabilty of a letter from the tax people.

"It's the bring and buy next week," announced Boy One. Oh no.
"Yeah, we're going to bring in loads of stuff," says his brother. Oh yes - in my mind's eye I see bags and bags of what can only be described as crap leaving the house. The people who inhabit my mind's eye are dancing a jig.
"Fantastic, I'll get you some bags," I'm tearing giant sized garden sacks off a roll.

And so they did, they left the house yesterday rustling with heavy carriers. I didn't even check what they were taking, just happy there was lots of it. Heck, I even sewed up the rent in Beary's belly so he was fit for market. Bye Beary.

But then today they came bang clatter off the bus. "Look what I got," they clamoured and upended bags and bags of what can only be described as even shabbier crap than they left with. There were weird toys that make annoying noises, books, weird toys with wobbly legs, weird toys from TV shows, dog eared books, a Lego Christmas tree (obviously we need more Lego!) and the piece de resistance a large china dog biscuit barrel. I was informed that the ugly dog thing was going to live in the kitchen next. Hmmm, I don't think so.

It's not as if any of the stuff will be played with or loved. They've been home for five hours now and most of it is already forgotten.

And with the notable exception of Shaba the bear - bought by Boy One for Boy Two and subject to some masterful rebranding by the Panther of News (Let's face it when you're five, Pooh's a pussy and only suitable for girls) - none of the now seven years of bring and buy booty has become a treasure.

But what's really galling about this tsunami of tat, this cavalcade of crap, that is the bring and buy sale, I paid good money for this rubbish. Next year if I pay double, will the school keep it all. Please.

Pic: beautiful Boy Two with the ugly bring and buy biscuit barrel dog


  1. No matter how hard you work to get rid of the crap, more invades.In one way or another. I hate it when people have a clear out and palm off their unwanted, unloved clutter on my lot. At some point we ended up with an enormous cat tea pot!!
    You have my sympathy.

  2. sarsm, thanks. Maybe we could cast our dog biscuit barrel and your cat tea pot off together in a pea green boat.

  3. Oh! I have literally peed my pants laughing,seriously! I am often amazed at the crap my son brings home from bring and buy sales, I am often astounded by some of his purchases and on occasion I have been somewhat amused by the sight of him trying to drag a bag almost as big as himself along the street, the whole time with a look of utter delight on his face at what wonderful treasures he has brought home for everyone. He's such a thoughtful little boy and never wants anyone to feel left out, so in he comes shouting for everybody to come and get their "presents" his sisters all groan until I give them "the eye" and they know what is required of them. So in we all troop to RBys room for distribution of said gifts, we all squeal with delight and are amazed at how he managed to get us all something that we either really needed or wanted, he sits there with such a look of satisfaction on his wee face. Aw its a shame really but the words "I'm sorry son but its all going in the bin tomorrow" are running through my head as I leave with my treasured and much desired gift. I wonder if I could start a petition for the Abolition of Stupid Bring and Buy Sales, just a thought Hmmm?!

  4. Lynne, That's funny. It's such a shared experience and yes, I'd sign that petition.

  5. You never know, it might turn out to be a serious collectable, worth lots of money - and I'm not talking about Boy 2!!

  6. It all sounds so familiar: We had 2 events a year at Primary School: Xmas Fair & Summer Fair, where I would give daughters money to buy back all the 'c$*p' I'd tried to get rid of. Add to that the Mothers'day sale & Xmas gift sale. Thankfully secondary school has neither.

  7. Anon, you are welcome to the china dog on the off-chance it is valuable. I'll take the risk.

    Studentmum, Mother's Day sale sounds special. That way you have to keep the crap to show you care.

  8. Why are schools having bring and buy sales? I thought they were for learning how to read, write and do sums, with the odd bit of a foreign language thrown in and a few experiments involved bunsen burners.

    Must be a generation thing. Mind you, a 'bring' day sounds ok. It'd give the teachers a bit of excitement distributing the unwanted stuff to local charities.

  9. Subrosa, I'd be all for 'bring' day but I can't see it catching on! And it's a valid point about the purpose of schools, you could have the same discussion about sports days, nativity plays and the like...


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