Wednesday, 10 August 2011

Sock mystery solved, a few more to go

For fox sake...
That's it then, a domestic mystery solved. It seems that some 5000 socks and pants (yes pants!) turn up in our drains every year. This accounts for the weekly dating game I play with the lonely solo garments... and why no matter how hard you try, there are always an increasing number of singletons.

I once had so many odd socks that I was able to spread them out in ten sets of ten in order to use them to explain long division to a child. We had reached a desperate point in maths education: it turned out that what he called deconstruction was what I called carrying ten and I hadn't listened at that particular parents' evening.

I'm happy, because after listening to So You Want To Be An Exorcist on Radio 4 yesterday where yoga was cited as a reason for the increase in the number of cases of possession I was becoming concerned.

In order to be sure there are no evil spirits causing domestic mayhem I have one or two more mysteries I'd like solve.
  • Who sneaks into my house to return empty boxes and cartons to shelves?
  • Is that the same person as the one who sneaks in to dribble a few drops of wee by the toilet?
  • How toothbrushes just used to clean teeth are curiously dry on inspection.
  • Where my glasses are.
  • Who eats all the peanut butter.
  • Where the used up batteries come from.
  • Why the rest of the family suddenly lose their sense of smell just when Boy Three has filled his nappy.
  • What force makes all the radios tune magically in to Radio 5 when I leave the room for a while.
  • Why there is never any grown-up chocolate when I really need some.
  • What force impels people to make noise near me at either 7pm or 2pm on a weekday.

5 comments:

  1. I always knew there was something dodgy about yoga!

    Excellent article. xx

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  2. Oh Mammy, only if you're seriously bendy!

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  3. You've been to my house haven't you?! Love the long division tableau!!

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  4. Stitch this, the socks as maths aid was a desperate last attempt at explaining long division!

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  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

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