Wednesday, 10 August 2011

Sock mystery solved, a few more to go

For fox sake...
That's it then, a domestic mystery solved. It seems that some 5000 socks and pants (yes pants!) turn up in our drains every year. This accounts for the weekly dating game I play with the lonely solo garments... and why no matter how hard you try, there are always an increasing number of singletons.

I once had so many odd socks that I was able to spread them out in ten sets of ten in order to use them to explain long division to a child. We had reached a desperate point in maths education: it turned out that what he called deconstruction was what I called carrying ten and I hadn't listened at that particular parents' evening.

I'm happy, because after listening to So You Want To Be An Exorcist on Radio 4 yesterday where yoga was cited as a reason for the increase in the number of cases of possession I was becoming concerned.

In order to be sure there are no evil spirits causing domestic mayhem I have one or two more mysteries I'd like solve.
  • Who sneaks into my house to return empty boxes and cartons to shelves?
  • Is that the same person as the one who sneaks in to dribble a few drops of wee by the toilet?
  • How toothbrushes just used to clean teeth are curiously dry on inspection.
  • Where my glasses are.
  • Who eats all the peanut butter.
  • Where the used up batteries come from.
  • Why the rest of the family suddenly lose their sense of smell just when Boy Three has filled his nappy.
  • What force makes all the radios tune magically in to Radio 5 when I leave the room for a while.
  • Why there is never any grown-up chocolate when I really need some.
  • What force impels people to make noise near me at either 7pm or 2pm on a weekday.


  1. I always knew there was something dodgy about yoga!

    Excellent article. xx

  2. Oh Mammy, only if you're seriously bendy!

  3. You've been to my house haven't you?! Love the long division tableau!!

  4. Stitch this, the socks as maths aid was a desperate last attempt at explaining long division!

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