Friday, 7 October 2011

Noises to make a mother's heart sink...

There I was sitting on the loo. When I heard it and my heart sank.

I had sneaked away from the fray children to use the furthest away facility, the one in the the en suite.

Of course I hadn't shut the door, it's the en suite.

So when I heard small but heavy foot steps advancing to the cry of "mummy where are yooou?" my heart sank.

Messy toddler talks to a Dalek
A boy discusses important matters with his Dalek
It occurred to me that there are a great many sounds that make a parent's heart sink.

These include:
  • A shout followed by breath-holding silence. it will need attention.

  • The burpy bark that precedes a vomit. Get there fast an you might avert carpet annihilation
  • Any very loud smashy kind of clatter. Especially if it comes before a stunned silence.
  • Brothers clamouring loudly over the top of each other. Apparently actually knocking heads together is frowned on.
  • The almost nonchalant "no" that heralds a howling tantrum. 
  • "Mum, I can't find my.... " when you know it's there.
  • A pasticky crunch underfoot, it will always be a loved and essential thing not a Mcdonald's toy.
  • The phone ringing off as no one bothers to answer it.
  • The phone being answered and it's a work contact being told "mums in the toilet". 
  • But, the most alarming of all, total silence when you know there are children within ear shout. They are bound to be up to no good.


  1. LOL! genius! I've had the 'Mum's having a poo' notification given to a telephone caller. And as my DD was 8 at the time, and had been bought up to always be honest, what could I say?!

    And then, there's always the sound of the doorbell at 7am when you were enjoying some 'me time' before the household awakes...

  2. Mrs Green, Thanks. Oh yes, the doorbell - generally often that's a heart-sinker too - it'll be window cleaner needing paid, charity collection, someone from an electricity firm or the Jehovah's Witnesses.

  3. Great post! I always worry when I can't hear Amy though she is getting better at not breaking things...!

    CJ xx

  4. Thanks CJ, we're never happy are we!

  5. The sound of my son bumping his head on the headboard of his bed, which sets off his sound and light machine, which in turn wakes him up and prompts this sound:


  6. Ghostwritermummy, that would do it for me too.

  7. Haha great post! Love the one where they tell the work contact that 'mum is on the toilet', kids are so honest aren't they?! :)

  8. bumps2babies, thanks

    Kerri, And it'll always be someone you're trying to impress..

  9. Hi Ellen, Been a bit slow on the uptake, just discovered your blog today ! Should have found it sooner. Love this post, so true.

  10. Laughing! Very good :-)

    Plasticky crunch - reminds me of stepping on youngest's new glasses: early morning, waking him up, in the dark...



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