Monday, 28 November 2011

In the Twilight zone and wondering why it took me so long

The laddie is a vamp
Admittedly not first with the latest, but his weekend I watched the first of the Twilight movies... just to see what the fuss is all about, you understand. 

The Twilight films are a series of supernatural romances based on the books by Stephenie Mayer. They involve a vampire, played by Robert Pattinson, who has the hots (as much as anyone who isn't actually alive can get the hots) for a human played by Kristen Stewart. 

Sharp-eyed parents will have noticed Pattinson as doomed prefect Cedric Diggery in the Harry Potter films. Specialising as a far-too grown up school boy, at least Rob has an excuse as Edward Cullen in Twilight - he's 104.

And what is the fuss all about then? Well actually if you excuse Twilight a few moments of supernatural silliness it's a proper, simmering, slow-burn love story. Rob smolders with animal urgst - "I don't know if I'm strong enough to resist" and Kristen, well, she does a fine turn as a stroppy teen. That bit where Edward puts his arm around Bella Swan and everyone at school looks on is high-school romance in a nutshell. 

It's very sexy without there being any actual sex and the swelling soundtrack just adds to the intensity. And when movies are so often set in sunny blue-skied places, it was wonderful to see the mist-and-pine moodiness of Washington State. I've been there and it really is like that although I don't remember any blood-sucking creatures shinning up trees at top speed or playing baseball in the thunder. 

I do have a few questions: 

  • Carlisle Cullen is a doctor, surely he can get his hands on an almost plentiful supply of blood, can't he?
  • If it's so hard for the vamp family to restrain themselves over a drop of the red stuff, how can he manage in a hospital?
  • Doesn't a diet of only blood make you terribly constipated and wouldn't that account for Edward's miserable face most of the time?
  • Why do you have to keep on repeating high school when you've been 87 times? 

Come on, Twihards help me out here. I feel a serious Edward Cullen fixation coming on, but if I'm going to invest in the New Moon DVD and work my way up to the one that's on at the pictures, I need some answers. 

PS, before he asks, I'd like to point out that in some lights the Panther of News and Robert Pattinson are virtually indistinguishable. And, ask yourself, have you ever seen them in the same room?


  1. Ok, I'll answer your questions as best as I can. Most of this is best explained in the books.

    1) Carlisle as a doctor can get a supply of blood easily but once you are on human blood, its quite hard to get off the stuff. Jasper who is the latest Vegie Vampire is case in point. He spent most of his vampire life on human blood and still finds it incredibly hard to resist human blood.

    2) Carlisle has built up a resistance to human blood. We hear about his story in one of the books. Carlisle absolutely hated being a vampire and wanting human blood when he was first turned. He ate animals to resist, he became a doctor because he wanted to use his "abilities" to help others. Think this really helped overcome the thirst for human blood.

    3) Their digestive system doesn't work that way. They don't need the toilet ever.

    4) They go to school because the younger they start out, the longer they can stay in any given place. If you are acting like a teenager, since they go to school, the vamps to behave like them also need to go to school to avoid suspicion. They also have lots of degrees.

  2. I really recommend reading the books. They are beautifully written & give you much more background than the films can manage.

    I will leave it there because I could quite literally go on for days about this.

    I am, by the way, thoroughly in love with Carlisle. Forget the Edward/Jacob nonsense, give me 300 years of history:-)

    This is Caron, btw. Blogger being temperamental.

  3. Hi Priggy, Thanks very much for your comment. I think I need to go and read the books.

  4. I devoured the books, unaware that they were written by a Mormon lady (or is it Quaker, I can never remember)

    Honestly, there are no superlatives left unhurled when it comes to Bella's descriptions of Edward - he's the most gorgeous thing EVER yada, yada, so I was a bit disappointed to actually clap eyes on Mr Pattinson.

    I only watched the first film and abandoned the series thereafter; I prefer my vampires inside my head.

    Where I don't need to think about vampiric constipation.

    Ali x

  5. Ali, she's a Mormon which explains a lot.

    Perhaps going to the film first with low expectations gave the best outcome - lots of smouldering!

  6. I'd agree about reading the books first. I watched the twilight film first after my friend came round with the DVD and a bottle of wine and insisted I watched it. I'd never even heard of it. So the characters in my mind do look like those in the film, but I then raced through the books - and then read them again, that's how sad I am. The last one gets a bit weird though...

  7. Her other book "The Host" is really very very good as well, imo much better than the Twilight series.


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