|Boy with a super plunger, of course|
"Noooo," he bellowed. "Not Thursday. No."
"But there's a Thursday every week."
"Waaaaaah. Noooo," and he collapsed into loud sobbing.
After a while he controlled himself and hiccoughed: "I don't want Thursday every week. I've got an idea, no more Thursdays. OK?"
"I'm sorry, but it's just how it is. You can't change the days of the week."
"But you said...," recommence wailing, but noisier this time.
Sigh. And all of this before breakfast.
It's a very typical exchange with the youngest member of the family who is three and a half, and, for my money, much more wearing than the rigid red-faced protests of a younger toddler.
You see, he still does loud, rigid, red faced protest, only he applies his articulate but cock-eyed logic to the job. Combined that with what, in his case, seems to be a built-in desire to be contrary and you've got a very frustrating situation.
Breakfast was accompanied by endless appeals to his biggest brother for a certain Lego character. I could just have asked for the toy to be handed over, but I know from bitter experience it would just up the ante and he'd want a gun for him, clothes, a helmet, a friend, a pet monkey, and so on.
"Do you want some kiwi?" I asked brightly, hoping to distract him with news that, at his request, I had bought some.
"You got kiwi?" From the shop?"
"Yes, because you said you wanted some after you had it at nursery."
"Oh. I don't like kiwi now."
Finally breakfast was over and we were on to the next stage, it went something like this:
"I want to go out to see Boy Two (waiting outside for the bus),"
"OK but you'll need to hurry and get dressed because the bus will be here soon."
And he proceeded to make getting him dressed as tricky and time consuming as possible. Eventually, the shoes were on... just as the bus drew up.
"Awwww. They've gone. I'll never,ever get to play with him."
"Of course you will. Later today you'll all be at home again."
"I want to go to school."
"You will when you're old enough. You need to be five and you're only three."
"Right, give me two minutes and we'll go to nursery."
"I want to go to nursery now."
"Fine, I'll tidy up later. Let's go. Where's your coat?"
"I want some kiwi."
"I want some kiwi."